Prodigal – Under the Willow Tree

Random Love

valentine_heart 1

Invitation

Our time of hate is in the past. Now is our time to love again.

Your colorful eyes follow me around,

Are you afraid to stare?

Yet, you like what you see.

Are my lips too full to swallow yours?

Are my eyes too deep that you feel helpless?

Come, you can taste of my honeycomb

Don’t be afraid of the light

There is so much that we can learn together

Come, not in secret places,

Let’s go to the mountains where it’s fresher

Our time of hate is in the past, now it’s our time to love again.

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To Argue Love

And if we argue, fuss, or fight

What good it’s gonna do tonight?

You take a piece of my heart

and with the same breathe say, ‘I love you’

What good it’s gonna do today?

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Restless Dove

I’ll contend for you my love,

As sure as the stars are above.

Though you may try to fly away…my love for you will multiply,

Though distance may keep us apart,

Though others may try to steal your heart; my grip on you shall never depart.

I’ll contend for you my love.

Indecision

Can I look at life in a two way fold?

Can I walk through two open doors?

Can I share love fifty-fifty?

What then shall I do?

Deep into those eyes I am afraid

Deep into the past I keep remembering

Deep into the future I have to go

What then shall I do?

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A Song of Longing

I’ll be there before the first rain fall

I’ll be there before you close your eyes

If all the rain should stop falling

If all the fruit trees stop bearing

If all the birds stop singing

My love for you will never change

My laughter will be heard throughout the land

I’ll be there to bring joy to your heart

I’ll be there before the sun sets

I’ll be there before you close your eyes.

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Question to Self

Do you love you enough?

Asking the same questions over and over again:

Who do you think you are?

Do you love your thoughts?

Do you love your neighbor as yourself? Do you love yourself?

It’s good to love you too.

Why should you hide who you are?

Why should such love be hidden?

Go ahead, it’s good to love you;

And you will have no hindrances loving your neighbors too.

God loves you.

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Season of Depression

Time flies

But does it really for me?

The orbit spins faster, my head’s spinning, swirling

Falling deeper into the hole

like Alice in Wonderland,

My head’s in the wrong direction

Pause, I fell fast asleep

Then I awoke to no more sunshine but

The canopy of dark clouds hanging over me

I sigh, does time really fly?

Sir, have you seen the time?

I left it here a minute ago

Before slumber weighed down my eyes…

An Uncensored Letter From My Journal

Dear Heavenly Father:

I feel hopeless and I need your help. I need your Divine intervention as I struggle so much with these bad habits which I have acquired to ease my pain, to soothe my worries, and appease my restlessness. Depression has partnered with me and I do not like it. I am sorry that I stop depending on you, I managed to find my own help by smoking pot, popping uppers and downers, or by drinking strong drink to keep me alive. I have made clubbing my uplifter-can’t wait for a Friday or Saturday night to get as high as a kite. Yet, the heights annoy me the more. I am sorry, but it’s so hard to let go when all around are friends who are like-minded. How can I get out of this net that I have set for myself?

Each day the choices I make have been horrible – I compromise your word, I rise up early to get stoned, and I go to bed late, stoned. Hoping each time that you will breathe your life into me to wake up to see another day. I awake to see another day, you have not dealt with me according to my sinful nature. I have belittled what you have started in me and my mind is going over and over like an old record: “Look at you; you who God used at one time.” Oh, how I wish that my life wasn’t so degraded.

Deliver me from hating who I have become, even hating the real me. Deliver me from all my sins and transgressions which includes my shortcomings. Help me to see your light this year (2004). Help me so that when am healed or in the process of my healing I can encourage others to see the right way. Father, your lovingkindness is everlasting; your love is in abundance towards me. You are quite aware that I was born in a world full of good and evil.

Standing in front of my mirror:

Shut up, get these voices out of my mind!

When did I lose my saltiness; or, when did my light turn off?

My heart has gone astray, can’t figure out the right way.

My soul is tired, my spirit is wounded, I’ve got to stop the madness. It’s hard when one has tasted of your good Father, and stray like a dog to its vomit. So I pray today, please hear my cry of desperation. I lack the drive to be committed to you again, stagnancy has cemented me in one stinking place. I want to flow in clean waters again.

Then I remember my Bible which I hardly open and read Psalm 43.

Psalm 43:5

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Reference: The King James Version Bible by Public Domain